Why Does Roscoe Tanner Still Have A Checkbook?

Old Habits Die Hard

For those unfamiliar with the story of Roscoe Tanner, here's our unauthorized abridged version. Roscoe was a professional tennis player waaaay back in the seventies. As a southpaw with a strange but deadly serve, he captured sixteen titles including one Grand Slam event. He's also currently accused of capturing two Toyota Highlanders from a Knoxville dealership, by bouncing a check for 72K and change. According to the dealership, Tanner refused to return the vehicles when he was notified that his check had bounced. Something tells me that Roscoe wasn't too surprised to get that phone call. One could also speculate that Roscoe knew that the phone was going to ring back in 2000 as well, when he kited a check for a boat worth thirty-five grand. The intriguing thing about this story is the fact that in 2005 Tanner co-authored his autobiography, Double Fault: My Rise And Fall, And My Road Back. As much as I appreciate the opportunity to hammer someone for their hypocrisy and stupidity, I'm giving Roscoe a pass on this one. The blame here goes to the dealership, and someone should get fired over this fiasco. As someone who has been in sales for well over 20-years, I can't wrap my brain around how this happened. Apparently the practice of verifying funds in this day and age hasn't caught on in Tennessee. Insert your own 'neither has not bagnin' kinfolk' joke here. All hillbilly jokes aside, I know people in Tennessee--and have empirical evidence that they do in fact have Internet access. Check out poor Roscoe's Wikipedia page and tell me if you'd accept a check from him. I wouldn't take a $20-dollar bill from him without checking it with one of those counterfeit markers. The person who truly deserves some sympathy here is the poor salesman who thought he had covered his nut for the entire month with one test drive. It had to hurt when that number got wiped off the board.



Cry Me A River Walk

After nearly 24-hours filled with commentary, replays and talk-show banter the NBA has officially weighed in on Tuesday Night's "non-call" which lead to the Lakers taking a commanding 3-1 lead in the Western Conference Finals over the defending champs. Upon further review, the league has admitted that a foul should have been called on Derek Fisher. As a lifelong uber-Lakers fan, and someone who agrees that Brent Barry was fouled and should have been sent to the line for two free throws--it pisses me off that the league would even make such a statement. But I've only been watching hoops my entire life, what the hell do I know? I know that Tim Duncan took four steps through the lane on the way to an uncontested dunk. I know that Kobe was mugged on at least a half-dozen drives to the rim without getting to the line once. I'm also fairly certain there were more than several calls throughout the game that could have gone either way. One thing is certain, this entire controversy would've never happened if Pau Gasol could have managed to bury at least one out of two free-throws when the game was on the line. The Lakers are 11-3 for the 2008 playoffs, and every one of those three (road) losses can be attributed to poor free-throw shooting, and second chance points given up on the defensive end. I'm just glad that David Stern and the league are pulling out all the stops in order to fix the post-season for our beloved Lakers. It must really take a helluva lot of effort and coordination to get everyone on the same page in order to pull off such a caper. Thanks.