I'll spare all 17 of my loyal readers an explanation regarding my whereabouts over the last six months. Life happens and sometimes you have to get your house in order before partaking in frivolous activities, like commenting on the world of sports via the blogernet. That being said--People of Southern California, please cease and desist all purchasing and display of Lakers car flags immediately. Seriously, I'm the 2nd biggest Lakers fan I know so you need to hear me out on this one. You all look like a fools. There, I said it. I appreciate your enthusiasm, honestly I do. Every single 7-Eleven location in the state appreciates it too--especially at at nine bucks a pop. It doesn't make your '02 Camry look any cooler than the sexy whip that it already is, and makes me less reluctant to jerk with you on the road when you exhibit your vehicular stupidity. It inhibits the beauty that is my inner rage. Knock it off already.Speaking Of Stupidity
As much as I would like to preview the NBA Western Conference Finals (Lakers in six), I feel the need to revisit my utter disdain for Utahns. Yes, it's Utahns...not Utahians--or so the natives claim. Screw the natives right? It's the American way. The important thing is that the Jazz were obviously unwitting pawns in David Stern's yearly master plan to guarantee a Lakers/Celtics match-up in The NBA Finals. When was the last time that happened? Oh, that's right--21 years ago! All kidding aside, I'm willing to compromise with Utahns. OK, here's the deal. I'll agree to admit that every victory that leads to a Finals appearance for the Lakers is an NBA based conspiracy. So long as they concede that the "religion" dominating their culture is based on grooming their female offspring for a lifetime of sexual servitude though fear tactics, isolation, and intimidation. At least Islam makes it's fanatics wait for the afterlife to become Virgin Surgeons.All kidding aside, it's good to be back. There's plenty more venom to follow soon. Stay tuned.
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